I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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