We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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