SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
