A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
