drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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