You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
