I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
