i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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