Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
