MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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