I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Four minutes until I can fart!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize