YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ketchup is God's man juice
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
