The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
