I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
