We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
