Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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