Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
