i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
