theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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