How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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