eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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