At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
