well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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