have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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