watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
