Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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