WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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