yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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