We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
