I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
