I bet he comes in French.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
