We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
