its not stalking. its research.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
