also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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