the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Randomize