he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
