i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
