I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
