She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
