Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
