Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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