it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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