The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
