Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
