Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's the barista slut.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
