I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
