I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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