i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
