Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
