fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize