Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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