Non-Jews are for practice
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
