You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The air taste purple.
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