she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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