I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
