i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
