White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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