Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
