You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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