Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Randomize