I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
