Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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