I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you mean i was at the winter classic?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
