I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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